Saturday, September 27, 2008

Maybe this week

I am so ready to start planning our trip to China. I want to be in that excited frenzied state , when you know you have a 1000 things to do and not enough time to do it. I want to be seriously nervous about getting on a plane and traveling many , many hours to get there. I just want this waiting in limbo stage to be over!!!! I am somewhat hopeful that we may hear something this week. My agency says they are waiting and expect our LOA to arrive at any time. We are still looking at hopefully traveling sometime in Nov. Hopefully sooner than later!!!

Sierra's room is almost done. When it is I will post pictures. In the meant time I am posting one more from 2 weeks ago!! She has the victory sign down pat!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


There are many reasons that I love the fall!!! Living in upsate New York is wonderful this time of year. The night s are cool, great for sleeping. The days are perfect, not too hot and not too cool. They are just right. And there is nothing like the colors that blanket the trees as their leaves change from green to red to orange and gold!!! As for me personally it means the corn is coming down!! We have a 150 acre field behind our house that a farmer owns and farms. Most of the field is hay but some of it is corn( the kind the cows eat!!) When I look out my kitchen window in the summer I can only see the corn. But when fall comes little by little the corn is cut and used for silage(cow food). When the corn is all gone I get a view of the whole field. I can see the deer and coyotes again. When I sit in m y gazebo I can see the tip of Slide Mountain again. And I appreciate it so much more because it was taken away from me for a while. Today I came home and the corn was being cut. It gave me a small sense of joy. It doesn't happen all in one day, but someday soon I will get my view back. I will enjoy it for the rest of the fall, spring and part of the summer until the corn replaces it again. But its not forever and I will appreciate it even more!! Here is a picture I took today. When its all gone I will post a picture again!!

Monday, September 22, 2008

A test in patience!

When we finally receive our LOA and then our TA ( yes, there are more things to wait for AFTER getting our LOA!!!) I know I will have passed some kind of endurance test. Its so hard to explain, you know its going to happen, you want it to happen soon, you have absolutely NO control over the outcome so you just wait!! I know everything is happening for a reason and when it does happen it will be the right time. I'm thinking we will see something amazing in China or meet an amazing person, besides Sierra and I will say" That's why we waited. Or maybe nothing extraoridinary will happen and I will still know it was the right time. Its like when we were matched. Other lists came out and we did not get a call. Why? Because it wouldn't have been Sierra. And we are certain she was meant to be for us. With every fiber of my being I know that. So I will continue to wait, sometimes patiently but mostly not so patiently. And when that call comes......... I can't even imagine the joy it will bring!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Happy Anniversary

Today I got to celebrate my 4th wedding anniversary with the most amazing man, my husband Scott! I had a doctors appointment in Albany so we both took the whole day off. We went to the Christmas Tree Store ( a favorite of ours) and the mall. We shopped, looked at all the adorable little girls clothes and ate lunch out. He is going to be such a wonderful father. I can not wait until I see little Sierra in his arms. He is working 3 different jobs to earn the money we need to go. I can't believe the amount of money he has saved!!! Our agency says China is working on all their LOAs including ours. Hopefully we will hear soon and can still travel in Nov. I am so blessed!!!!!!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

New pictures!!!!!!!

I knew this was going to be a great weekend!! I received some new pictures of Sierra!!!! They were taken less than 24 hours ago. Isn't she adorable!! I can't wait to be able to dress her!! And her hair is getting longer!!! I could just stare at these all day!!!!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Better frame of mind

Wow, I was a little upset on Monday!! I'm feeling a little better now but not because we've received any great news, because we haven't. But Dana my SN advocate at my agency and a person I have become "close" to has gone to Guatemala to get her son. She has hit every bump in the road during her journey and I know she understands everything I am going through. That has meant so much to me. But I am thrilled that her wait is over and Edison is with them now. I also have decided that getting angry in this instance is not going to accomplish anything. It helped when the UCSIS kept telling me they were waiting for things that I already sent. I contacted them, explained the situation.... again and they finally sent me my I171H that we need to travel. but that is a US government office. I can get mad at them. One can not get mad at China. I can't even talk to them and even my agency's hands are pretty much tied. We knew this going in so I can't really complain. It WILL happen and Sierra WILL be with us soon. And I'm even looking foward to this weekend. Its all about how you choose to look at things, this week I will look at things half full not half empty!!! Have a great weekend!!!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

I'm mad!!!

Today has been a tough day. Many people on the RQ blog received LOAs today. I admit I am angry. I'm angry that this means I have to wait longer to hold my daughter. I am angry that it means my daughter will have to wait longer to know the love of her new family. I am angry( although I am not proud of it) that some people don't have to wait as long as we have, for no apparent reason. I am angry that a country who just hosted the Olympics for hundreds of countries can not quickly complete the necessary paperwork to get these kids home to the people who love them. Although being angry does not help the situation in any way, it is what it is. My anger is equal in amount to the love I have for this child I have yet to meet. I hope I will feel better tomorrow. Anger is never productive, but it is what I feel.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Football is here!!!

Along with tropical storm Hanna came David's first varsity football game. Luckily the heaviest rain missed us and it only rained normally. You know football, you play in anything!! We were surprised but David was the starting quaterback. The coach decided at the last minute to use David over the other kid( a senior) who we all thought was going to start. He was also the punter and the placekicker! Unfortunately they lost but they played a good game. I was proud of all of them, they don't have a huge team this year, both in numbers and in body size. But they obviously have heart. I love football and can't wait until next Saturday. Next year Sierra will be joining us on t he sidelines to cheer for her big brother!!!! Here are a few pictures from the game. David is number 10. Boy was I proud of him!!!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Long week!

Wow its been over a week since I last posted. I wish I could say that I've been busy getting ready to go to China. The truth is we haven't heard a thing. I am almost getting used to it. I try to be hopeful each day but I just hate being so disappointed. It will happen but I'd love to know when. I am terribly excited about all the changes that will occur in our life. After 3 boys just having a daughter will be different. I am also looking foward to seeing Scott as a father. he is wonderful to my boys and I know he already loves Sierra. I love watching children grow and learn. I did home childcare full time for over 15 years. I still do it after school and in the summer. There is nothing more gratifying to me than being around kids. Their energy, curiosity,and zest for life are a wonder to behold. Believe me they teach me more than they could ever learn from me. It will be wonderful to have a toddler(almost preschooler) in our family again. The wait for me is getting almost unbearable. I want to hold her , to tell her how much I love her, feel her cheek against mine, and show her the world. Sierra, we will be there as soon as we possibly can!!!